Month: May 2021

A Review of “The Fault in Our Stars”

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It’s not too often I watch a movie that talks about disability in any way.  It’s not because I am unwilling to be open about disability being portrayed in a movie, but because I find most times the representation of people with disabilities in a film or other artistic endeavor is negatively skewed. Some movie roles have shown an inaccurate depiction of what it’s like to have a disability. People with disabilities have been shown as weak, or like they can’t take care of themselves. It always makes me think of characters like Quasimodo and how hard the disability community has had to fight to overcome such antiquated stereotypes.

Since starting the blog, one of my goals has been to increase disability awareness in different areas. One of those areas is disability representation in the media. Continued debate exists about allowing actors with disabilities to fill roles that portray someone with a disability. The other issue is the way people with disabilities are depicted in the media. Because of various reasons, we are depicted mostly in a negative light. It makes me wonder if the way Hollywood shows a person with a disability contributes to overall misconceptions society has surrounding people with disabilities.

The movie I was lucky enough to watch is “The Fault in Our Stars.” There is also a book by the same name. Honestly, I was apprehensive about seeing the movie. I had heard different things about it that made it seem like it was just another movie that shined a negative light on people with disabilities. Despite what I had heard, I decided to give it a chance. I am so glad I did. Although the movie was sad, it gave what I felt was a realistic depiction of living with a disability.

The movie is about two teenagers who meet in a support group and fall in love. They both have different forms of terminal cancer. I was impressed with how the parents of the characters allowed their children to live independently despite their limitations. This can be a scary concept for the parent of a child with a disability. It can also be a very helpful tool for both the parent and the child. The child gets to gain life experiences and the parent can witness their child gaining independence and navigating their lives with resources available to them. When one of the characters got the opportunity to meet her favorite author, the movie was honest and showed the obstacles she faced getting around the city she was visiting. Additionally they didn’t shy away from showing how she overcame the barriers that existed to make it to their meeting place.

I don’t think living with a disability is about sugarcoating things. I really enjoyed how this movie did anything but that. It showed how people with disabilities aspire to do things in life. It also showed how they can realistically accomplish their goals. I was impressed that the movie writers were brave enough to show that people with disabilities could fall in love. This is an aspect of living with a disability that some people are afraid to talk about but happens all the time.

There have been other books and movies that show people with disabilities as people who should be hidden away from mainstream society. Others send the message that they should be protected so much they don’t have the opportunity to enjoy life. That is not what living with a disability is all about. Each person has a different experience with their disability. However, we all deserve to reach the goals we choose to set for ourselves. I felt like this movie made people with disabilities look like real people. Maybe this movie can help make the topic of disability less scary for others who don’t have experience interacting with someone who has a disability.

I would definitely recommend this movie for anyone who likes a comedy, drama and bit of a sad story. I look forward to finding more stories that include disability in such a realistic way.

It gave me renewed hope that maybe in the future people with disabilities and the roles written around these characters aren’t ones of pity and dismay. As a result, society can gain a more realistic foundation of what life is like for people with disabilities.

Experiences of Parenting with a Disability Help Increase Disability Awareness

Featured by caste551, posted in Uncategorized

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate mothers and all they do. Since Mother’s Day was this past Sunday, it made me think about how I’ve used the experiences of parenting with a disability I’ve had through the years. There are three main ways I’ve used my experiences. When I thought about it more, all of them are important to raising awareness of issues surrounding people with disabilities too.

Some people would say that parenting isn’t for everyone. The same could be said from the perspective of a parent with a disability. Every time I give my speech about parenting with a disability, the main message is to do your research before you make any choice.

In the beginning, I didn’t realize the challenges I would face when it came to the way people reacted to me being pregnant. The same was true after my son was born. I wasn’t even sure how I would compensate for my physical limitations. It was both exciting and left me with a sense of apprehension. I was also adjusting to the weekly changes my body was going through from the pregnancy. Some of those changes made life a little more complicated. I was happy to go through these challenges because of the new adventures and experiences parenting was going to allow me to have with my baby.

Because I realized that my son learns from my behaviors and how he sees me react to others, I didn’t want to give him a negative example. I decided to use the experiences and turn them into something positive. The three ways I highlight in this post can have a positive impact on society and the way it perceives people with disabilities in a variety of ways.

The first way is to educate the public. There have been times in a store or even when my son played soccer where people have confronted me with their misconceptions about people with disabilities. Sometimes they have said blatantly mean things to me about being in the outdoors or out in public.  Instead of having a negative reaction, I use the opportunity to let people ask questions. This approach is surprising to them but, I believe it’s the only way to help get rid of the unnecessary fear or misconceptions they might have. Most of the time it has created an ongoing dialogue with the people around me at the time it happens. Once people see there is an available space to ask questions, they seem more at ease. It allows them the chance to gain a better perspective into the human experience of disability.  Hopefully, it helps them not be so afraid at other times when they may encounter a person with a disability.

The second way is to advocate for issues related to parenting with a disability. Luckily, I have had previous experiences advocating for myself and others for different reasons. For someone who feels like advocacy is a scary or intimidating topic, it’s never too late to start sharpening your advocacy skills. It can be an exciting journey where you learn more about yourself and the way each organization functions. You can also tap into different avenues available in your community for help. Whether it has something to do with school, sports or getting to my son’s doctor’s appointments, I’ve had to advocate for different issues. Other examples include requesting needed accommodations to attend a parent teacher conference or using a delivery service to get a prescription. For the most part, once you express a need there are people around willing to lend a hand.

The third way is to foster a sense of acceptance and understanding of people who have different limitations. For example, it takes me a little longer to get on the floor and play with my son. He has  learned to be patient with me and even figured out ways to help. Having a parent with a disability helps children be more patient with their parents, themselves and other people. Because he has watched me adapt to different environments, he has a greater awareness of his surroundings. There have even been articles stating that children of parents with disabilities develop greater emotional skills and are more empathetic than kids whose parents are not disabled.

Everyone’s journey of parenting and parenting with a disability will be different. The most important part is to enjoy the ride because it goes by quickly. Parenting with a disability tests your strengths and limitations like you would never imagine. It provides great rewards that are worth every moment spent overcoming obstacles and sharpening your skills. The result is an experience no one can take away from you. It will strengthen the bond you have with your child for years to come.