Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate mothers and all they do. Since Mother’s Day was this past Sunday, it made me think about how I’ve used the experiences of parenting with a disability I’ve had through the years. There are three main ways I’ve used my experiences. When I thought about it more, all of them are important to raising awareness of issues surrounding people with disabilities too.
Some people would say that parenting isn’t for everyone. The same could be said from the perspective of a parent with a disability. Every time I give my speech about parenting with a disability, the main message is to do your research before you make any choice.
In the beginning, I didn’t realize the challenges I would face when it came to the way people reacted to me being pregnant. The same was true after my son was born. I wasn’t even sure how I would compensate for my physical limitations. It was both exciting and left me with a sense of apprehension. I was also adjusting to the weekly changes my body was going through from the pregnancy. Some of those changes made life a little more complicated. I was happy to go through these challenges because of the new adventures and experiences parenting was going to allow me to have with my baby.
Because I realized that my son learns from my behaviors and how he sees me react to others, I didn’t want to give him a negative example. I decided to use the experiences and turn them into something positive. The three ways I highlight in this post can have a positive impact on society and the way it perceives people with disabilities in a variety of ways.
The first way is to educate the public. There have been times in a store or even when my son played soccer where people have confronted me with their misconceptions about people with disabilities. Sometimes they have said blatantly mean things to me about being in the outdoors or out in public.  Instead of having a negative reaction, I use the opportunity to let people ask questions. This approach is surprising to them but, I believe it’s the only way to help get rid of the unnecessary fear or misconceptions they might have. Most of the time it has created an ongoing dialogue with the people around me at the time it happens. Once people see there is an available space to ask questions, they seem more at ease. It allows them the chance to gain a better perspective into the human experience of disability.  Hopefully, it helps them not be so afraid at other times when they may encounter a person with a disability.
The second way is to advocate for issues related to parenting with a disability. Luckily, I have had previous experiences advocating for myself and others for different reasons. For someone who feels like advocacy is a scary or intimidating topic, it’s never too late to start sharpening your advocacy skills. It can be an exciting journey where you learn more about yourself and the way each organization functions. You can also tap into different avenues available in your community for help. Whether it has something to do with school, sports or getting to my son’s doctor’s appointments, I’ve had to advocate for different issues. Other examples include requesting needed accommodations to attend a parent teacher conference or using a delivery service to get a prescription. For the most part, once you express a need there are people around willing to lend a hand.
The third way is to foster a sense of acceptance and understanding of people who have different limitations. For example, it takes me a little longer to get on the floor and play with my son. He has  learned to be patient with me and even figured out ways to help. Having a parent with a disability helps children be more patient with their parents, themselves and other people. Because he has watched me adapt to different environments, he has a greater awareness of his surroundings. There have even been articles stating that children of parents with disabilities develop greater emotional skills and are more empathetic than kids whose parents are not disabled.
Everyone’s journey of parenting and parenting with a disability will be different. The most important part is to enjoy the ride because it goes by quickly. Parenting with a disability tests your strengths and limitations like you would never imagine. It provides great rewards that are worth every moment spent overcoming obstacles and sharpening your skills. The result is an experience no one can take away from you. It will strengthen the bond you have with your child for years to come.